Creating while female

Lets start with some seriously depressing figures. The number of female film directors is at a ridiculous 7%, having dropped 2 points from 2012, and 1 from 1998. In 2012, 82% of first time TV directors were dudes (and 87% white). Only 11% of all clearly identifiable protagonists are female. This year, the Oscars snubbed all female directors, even though they could have made history by nominating the first African-American woman for the award (Ava DuVernay for the acclaimed Selma). In Oscars history, only 4 women have ever been nominated for best director. Diversity across the board sucks balls at the Oscars, with only white actors nominated this year.

I could go on and on and on and on but you get the picture (if you don’t check out Women Make Movies for more). It's shocking but sadly unsurprising. As a woman who has spent the last 6 years trying to squeeze into the film industry, these numbers are confirmation of the celluloid ceiling I have long suspected is hovering over me.

Looking back at my time studying film, the chicks were often relegated to organizing roles. The guys usually held the cameras, and had louder voices that drowned our ideas or morphed them into their own. In almost every industry job I’ve had since, the creative roles are filled by a majority of dudes.

My most recent gig has been as an ad creative at an agency where my mostly male colleagues have watched way too much fucking Mad Men. Fridays are for whiskey and rape jokes. Recently a colleague asked me to pipe down because: "I need a man's opinion on this". His idea featured a slutty Goldilocks. Slightly in shock, my response at the time was fairly pitiful (“I am not writing that down").

These more obviously sexist moments can actually be something of a relief, because the day-to-day can be more ambiguous and subsequently feels more personal. I am constantly interrupted, and my ideas are often instantly dismissed. It is less of the 50’s style arse slapping, and more of an insidious feeling that I am not respected or accepted in their space. It makes you question whether you’re good enough, and in a world where you need unflinching self-belief this is a dangerous train of thought.

Now I am obviously talking about a different industry here, but the fact is this is not just film problem. In every creative field, women are scarce and face ridiculous hurdles. When I go to stand up gigs and improv shows I'm lucky to see one woman. The “are women funny” “debate” is one that somehow still gets commented on, even though it’s blatantly ridiculous.

When I go to gigs, the musicians are almost all male, even if there are a few woman included. More than 95% of music producers and sound engineers are men. My hero Bjork recently spoke out about how shitty it is she doesn’t get credited for producing her own music. Taylor Swift has expressed frustration that people don’t believe she writes her own songs, though they never question Ed Sheeran and the like.

Across the board, there is a dismissive attitude applied to some of the most badass creative ladies out there. For those of us who are still trying stuff out and learning our craft, it makes the early stages all the more intimidating. It can make you wonder if you are even cut out to do the thing you love.

So, how to fix it? Obviously, those at the top of their professions should take extra responsibility to encourage diversity, but there is a deeper issue with culture that needs tackling.

I should say here that the vast majority of dudes I have worked with have been cool, some totally awesome, and some massive assholes. Just like women. The thing is, they are still almost always the majority, and whilst most aren’t trying to make women in those spaces uncomfortable, I have met precious few who actively adjust their behavior to be more inclusive.

The responsibility is instead left with the ladies to “lean in”. I’m not saying women should be treated like delicate snowflakes in the work place. But it is very hard to be your own cheerleader and remain professional when you are repeatedly sidelined. I highly suspect that this causes many talented people to take a supporting role rather than the main stage.

The truth is it’s up to all of us to ensure our creative spaces are inclusive to a broad range of people. We have to make a serious effort to get different voices heard. If we don't, some diverse talents will still break through but they will always be the exceptions, and that's just not good enough.

When I see numbers like this my heart sinks. I wonder if there is space for me in these tiny little percentages. Can I slip through in the window of time I have left before I want a family, and I am considered even less capable of taking on such work? These statistics are a reminder that all those moments we’ve been spoken over, ignored and patronized and thought "maybe it happens to everyone", there’s a very good chance it does not.

I can’t be alone in not wanting to watch another film about a troubled genius white dude. A more diverse array of voices will mean a richer cultural life. It could be so awesome. Lets hope those numbers start changing.

First published on strongfemalelead.wordpress.com